What is self esteem – and how do I get it?

In today’s age of Facebook, advertising and mass media consumption it is sometimes a challenge to quiet the inner dialogue of self-loathing.

Self-esteem is a term that is commonly used. But what does it actually mean?

The word ‘esteem’ comes from a Latin word that means ‘to estimate’. So, self-esteem is how you estimate, or regard, yourself.

And if you want to check whether your own levels of self-esteem are healthy, try asking yourself these questions.

• Do I like myself?
• Do I think I’m a good human being?
• Am I someone deserving of love?
• Do I deserve happiness?
• Do I feel deep down that I’m an OK person?

People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer yes to all or most of the above. Perhaps you are one of them. If so, what can you do?

Remember – you’re uniquely special!
A good way to start improving your self-esteem is to acknowledge that you are special – because there’s no one else quite like you.

Not only are your fingerprints and DNA different from everyone else’s (unless you have an identical twin), but your mind, and how it thinks and operates, is totally your own.

This means that out of 7 billion people in the world, you are a one-off. So if nature has bothered to make you unique, don’t you feel you should accept that you’re important and also that you have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet?

You have other rights, too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don’t forget that ‘to err is human’ – and most of us learn through getting things wrong before we get them right.

Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves – and to be respected. And, perhaps most importantly of all, we have the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for ourselves.

If ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ be mindful about how much time you spend on Facebook and other forms of social media which can be a playground of comparison and breed self-loathing.

Halt destructive thoughts before they catch fire, and accentuate the positive instead. Get a dialogue with yourself started by listing 50 things you like about yourself. Go on – do it!